Beauty -what why how? Huh?!

Beauty is an interesting concept. And I’m on and off feeling really crap about it.

I’ve hardly worn make-up for a few months now, compared with what I was wearing before. Every day is that it’s a Saturday fresh face feeling. But I’m really struggling. I want to wear makeup and feel gorgeous and glam, but I also don’t want to feel reliant on it to feel good in my skin. Hardly wearing foundation for about 7 weeks now (feels like way longer) is really helping me appreciate who I see in the mirror, and I think my skin is healthier for it too, but I miss being glam, and selfies are a pain in the arse – they make me feel the ugliest – and weirdly that’s why I keep going with those too – to help me

I want to wear makeup and feel gorgeous and glam, but I also don’t want to feel reliant on it to feel good in my skin. Hardly wearing foundation for about 7 weeks now (feels like way longer) is really helping me appreciate who I see in the mirror, and I think my skin is healthier for it too, but I miss being glam, and selfies are a pain in the arse – they make me feel the ugliest – and weirdly that’s why I keep going with those too – to help me over come that.

I love makeup – it’s magic, but it’s also cheating and also kind of a lie. We can completely hide our real faces. When did we stop feeling okay in our skin?

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to walk away from the temptation that it is to improve myself here and there. But who says it’s beautiful – who decided we had to paint our faces?

Unlike my sisters and my mother – I’ve loved the stuff before I was really even old enough to understand what it was all about, and funnily enough, I didn’t really use it much through school. I had to train myself not to touch my eyes so that mascara wouldn’t go all over the place.

But eventually, through increased confidence and the increasing necessity of having bad skin, I started wearing more and more, and it was so fun. Sometimes disastrous at first, but also so fun. I learnt what was worth investing money in and what wasn’t, and I got to make something better out of myself.

At least that’s what I believed then. Now I’m really not so sure. I think I’ll have to wear make-up tomorrow just to see how I feel.

I will continue to work on the quality of my skin like the Japanese and try to always use as little as possible, and learn to feel beautiful for me, not becasue of the makeup (which i still love! doh!)

Okay here’s where I’m landing on it – some days glam, most days natural beauty enhancing makeup only. :/

Yeah – I think that sounds good.

 

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